'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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