If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
