Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
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Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
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You're a waste of cheezeits
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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