I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
