He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
