yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
