We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
