OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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