The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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