i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
