this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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