Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
