A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
