we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He? As in you personified your dick?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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