Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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