i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
