I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize