he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
