At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My balls are so social today.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
