what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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