I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
