I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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