She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
