I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
