Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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