I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
