This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
are you so shy because you have an std?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
