I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
