I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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