we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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