shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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