So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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