Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
