It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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