I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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