Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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