so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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