made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize