my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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