batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
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Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
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I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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