Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
