So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize