Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
