I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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