Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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