I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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