the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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