So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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