I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
