I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
