Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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