I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I want to fling myself into the sun
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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