Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
