I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
organizing the empties. That sober.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
