i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
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So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
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I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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