I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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