i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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