I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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