the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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