Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
